BB's Top Gear of Forza 3

Ever since I completed the 100% marker in the core game itself, I was starting to get bored. Online racing was still shafting me, and I was feeling restless for a certain NASCAR game to come out. So back in February, and taking breaks every now and then, I decided to do a Top Gear parody.

I'd go to the "Hot Lap" in the Free Play option of the front page. I'd select a non-modified car, and go to Laguna Seca, a track I've pretty much memorized ever since I played Gran Turismo 2. The track is a challenge even to the most experienced racer, and with the car's I've started with, I'd find new challenges every time.

And in grand Top Gear fashion, this tame racing driver is a STIG!

So without further ado and the first batch of cars, let's introduce him!

Some say he lives in the sands of the Corkscrew, only to pop out and eat rubber. And some say when he exposes himself, people are surprised it's looks like he shifted into fifth! All we know is that he's called THE STIG!

First car tested the Chevrolet Corvette ZR1 Blue Devil! Keep in mind this is the first one I did, and that was back in February, so I forgot how the lap went in specifics, but what I do know is that without traction control, tons of tire spin and the corkscrew was more than hairy.

So the time, for this 'Vette, is One.... TWENTY NINE DEAD!

Top Gear Board:
Corvette ZR1 DEVIL: 1:29.0

This thread will be constantly updated.

lol EUR did that around Suzuka West and got over 140 times:
http://www.flrleague.org/t1932-europa-top-gear

Works well because it makes you want to beat your friends with the top times

Rockon2dawn wrote:

lol.. EUR did that around Suzuka West and got over 140 times:
http://www.flrleague.org/t1932-europa-top-gear

Works well because it makes you want to beat your friends with the top times

Wow, never saw that before and I have been to this forum in the last couple of days! Although I personally hate Suzuka West as a track, I love the concept. However, as you will see with this thread, it's original because it's all one driver and almost all feedback on how an individual car drives. I'd be more than happy to see more of these threads pop up with different posters and tracks, it'd bring TONS of insights to small kinks at lots of different tracks!

And now for another installment!

You see, to bring variety, this time we got ourselves a hot hatch in the form of a Volkswagen Golf R MK6, and therefore we must hand it over to our tame racing driver.

SOME SAY he has hair made of out algae in the Atlantic Ocean!

AND SOME SAY he has blowholes in case he drives his car into an ocean!

All we know is that he is called THE STIG!

A good launch off the line with that all-wheel drive system down into turn one, I hope he doesn't understeer too badly off the Andretti Hairpin! Ah, he doesn't, nice and tidy!
(listens to obnoxious music)
I'm having a Quiet Riot thinking he listens to that garbage!
Here he goes through three and four, have to hit the brakes for three, but only lifts for four! Continuous momentum down the straight, second fastest part of the course, into turn five! Easy in Stiggy, but oh, he plows and almost goes off!
Now down into turn six, he brakes early but stabs the accelerator off, with a good surge of momentum heading up into the corkscrew! Hang on man!
Like a charm he gets through it into that left-hand turn nine, DOESN'T LIFT! He gets it good into turn 10, a variation of turn six only if you plow, you're in the pits! Now into the tight turn 11, the run off will get you a good run.... he hits the gas and its uneventful as he crosses the line!

Well, what do you think he ran? Here, it seems he has done it in ONE... THIRTY.... EIGHT POINT SEVEN! Not bad... solid lap!

Top Gear Board:
Corvette ZR1 DEVIL: 1:29.0
Golf R MK6: 1:38.7

Haha! Thats a pretty good idea! the best part is that you mimic clarkson almost perfectly. good job.

Good show! Can't wait for the next "episode".

Well, Richard Hammond thought driving an antique muscle car was a brilliant idea, and now I'm here to prove he is a rubbish idiot! And to confirm the ideals, I must turn this Hemi Cuda over to our tame racing driver.

SOME SAY he has little bits of rubber for teeth!

AND SOME SAY there are antennae in his head to show himself telemetry of his cars in his eyes!

All we know is that... HE'S CALLED THE STIG!

Oh wow, lots of wheelspin, oh Stiggy hold on!!! Holy crap he's done a full-length burnout on the front straightaway! Now this is where we disclose a little secret.
You see, Stig does more than one lap to see if he can get all of it out of his cars. Notice how he brushed the wall before turn one!
Back to our lap as he sets her on into the Andretti Hairpin, and tons of understeer! Too much car, too little tire! 1969 to its fullest!
(listens to obnoxious rock music)
He must be listening to Meat Loaf, because this isn't paradise by the dashboard light!
Turn three he slams on the brakes, and turn four, a little unsure... hits the strip but not the sand as that V-8 works mighty hard to get any steam into tricky turn five!
The car pushes off, but gathers it right back as he has to throw the car into turn six! OH, HE'S IN THE SAND! Ugh, what a disappointment!
Going into the corkscrew now, he's got it in the bank! He never makes mistakes two turns in a row!
Down turn nine, lifts a little, but only to offset some understeer...
Going into turn ten, he barely misses the sand but now he's in turn 11, and, he spins the tires but surprisingly uneventful as he CROSSES THE LINE!

Even for muscle cars that was rubbish, and even for muscle cars this was atrocious. I bet you a car with half the motor, half the weight, and a better suspension can do better than this. And oh yeah its a slow time.

He did it, in ONE.... FORTY.... THREE POINT FIVE! Good lord, a Ford Pinto could have this place faster! Stig says he's embarrassed Hammond, so there's a smack to you HAMSTER!

Top Gear Board:
Corvette ZR1 DEVIL: 1:29.0
Golf R MK6: 1:38.7
Hemi Cuda 426: 1:43.5

The last time around our track was the only time I've ever seen The Stig so ticked off about the car he drove. As you may recall from the prior episode, he drove a, ughh, 426 Hemi Cuda around our track and he said it was the worst overall car he wrangled . He called it floaty, pushy, spongy, and worst yet, he said it belongs in the dog pound. This time however, he took a car he personally chose within our guidelines and took a go, so time to hand it over to our tame racing driver.

SOME SAY he has real-life dwarves on his lawn for mannequins.

AND SOME SAY he has lobsters for pets.

All we know, is that HE'S CALLED THE STIG!

He's off, and the car he chose is a Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera, a car I suspect will most likely be fastest around this joint. Little wheelspin off the line, and he roars into the Andretti Hairpin. Nice and tidy off the turns.
(listens to opera)
For being an Italian beauty, he's got the music to match. Jeesh, what a romantic!
Going now into turn three he taps the brakes, but into turn four, he lifts, and gets it right on the strip! Good job Stiggy!
Now onto that straight, second-fastest part of the course, and he nails the entrance into turn five and gets a good run off!
Stabby through turn six, and up the hill. Time to go onto Seca Mountain, aka the Corkscrew!
Perfectly planted, no drama at all as he never lifts into turn nine!
Turn ten is a little fishy, but he saves it! Into the last corner, he slams on the gas, gets a little wheelspin, but gets it across the line!

After his run, Stig told us that whatever car poisoning he had with the Cuda, is now cured with this Lambo! Amongst rave reviews, is it our fastest car to date? Let's find out!

The car did it in... One.... Twenty........... EIGHT POINT SEVEN! IT IS THE FASTEST CAR SO FAR! Look at it, top of the boards!

Top Gear Board:
Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera: 1:28.7
Chevrolet Corvette ZR1 DEVIL: 1:29.0
Volkswagen Golf R MK6: 1:38.7
Hemi Cuda 426: 1:43.5

Haha this is pretty cool, all you need to do is get a Computer Generated Clarkson Voice

Very nice

Guest drivers of a moderately priced car?

Cool job man

If you may recall from a prior series, Jeremy did a test where he tried to see if he was as fast at a track in real life as he we was in a video game. Well, the car the Stig is driving now is essentially a re-do of that test. On that bombshell...

Let the pros do it 'Slow'. We must hand our that NSX-R to our tame racing driver.

SOME SAY he has ADD, but on the track that means his car is too slow.

AND SOME SAY that video games are for wussies. (Shrugs shoulders).

All we know is that HE'S CALLED THE STIG!

And there he is, nice launch off the line with little wheelspin. Amongst the last of the NSX's ever made, I really miss this car. Into Andretti... nice and tidy, oo a little kickout but nicely controlled.
(listens to techno)
That outrageous party music will drive someone mad!
Anywhos into turn three, with that slight repetition in turn four, all in control. Nothing is fazing Stig.
Turn five is a little tricky, but he kept it on the lower part of the track is everything is fine.
Slight stab on the brakes into turn six as he races up the hill. Hold onto your stomachs, its corkscrew time!
A little tailhappy on exit but nothing too serious as he eases back into the throttle for turn nine. Nicely executed as he carries momentum into turn ten...
Turn eleven now, and he set that up nicely and was rewarded with a drive off! ACROSS THE LINE!

Now, in Gran Turismo 3, I drove this Honda NSX-R to my best lap of 1:41. With the Stig, he was able to do it in...

One....thirty....FOUR POINT SIX! And that's why he's employed ladies and gentlemen, nearly seven full seconds faster than me!

Top Gear Board:
Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera: 1:28.7
Chevrolet Corvette ZR1 DEVIL: 1:29.0
Honda NSX-R: 1:34.6
Volkswagen Golf R MK6: 1:38.7
Hemi Cuda 426: 1:43.5

In America last week, oval track driver Kyle Busch was caught for speeding. 128 in a 45, and apparently he's gonna get a slap on the wrist! That cock! Anywhos, time to get the fiendish Lexus LFA around our test track and therefore... must hand it over to our tame racing driver.

SOME SAY his father was a cop during World War II. Not one overturned ticket!
AND SOME SAY his arms are deformed for aerodynamics purposes.
All we know is that he's called THE STIG!

A little bit of wheelspin off the line, no electronic aids for the Stig as he can harness all this power. And all we thought Toyota did was make a hybrid! Into the Andretti Hairpin, nicely in tune!
(listens to Deep Purple)
Smoke on the Water indeed, excellent song choice.
Into turn three he taps the brakes, and has to again for turn four, but then again, with over 500 brake horsepower at your disposal, it goes QUICK.
Into turn five, he slides the car in but NEARLY GOES into the SAND! He does the same approach for turn six and somehow makes it!
Up the hill now, time to see how this animal goes in the corkscrew!
Wow, out of shape as it wrangles back into turn nine, hardly a lift because of the lack of momentum.
Now down into turn ten where he makes it look tidy, and turn eleven, he hits the gas on the exit with no drama. That V-10 rumble, ACROSS THE LINE!

Now, this is Toyota's first attempt at a supercar I reckon. V-10, 500 plus brake horsepower, 0-60 in 3.7 and top speed at a nudge over 200 miles per hour. On our track, let's see how it did.

It did it in... One... TWENTY...... NINE POINT SEVEN! It's not the fastest, but a quick damn time nonetheless!

Top Gear Board:
Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera: 1:28.7
Chevrolet Corvette ZR1 DEVIL: 1:29.0
Lexus LFA: 1:29.7
Honda NSX-R: 1:34.6
Volkswagen Golf R MK6: 1:38.7
Hemi Cuda 426: 1:43.5

I'm liking this. Should save replays and do a voice over.

Drizzin wrote:

I'm liking this. Should save replays and do a voice over.

If I had to do that, then I'd have to do it all in composite, which would REALLY suck because I have an HDMI connection. The voice-over part would be no big deal, but voice-overs are meaningless without video.

Hey, it's another edition of everyone's favorite quasi-driving segment! Now, the last car we had was a supercar in the form of that Lexus LFA. But this time, we have something, well, slower. Nonetheless, we must hand it over to our tame racing driver.

SOME SAY he has grass building in his teeth!
And SOME SAY he has the intelligence of a dolphin with its blowhole shut!
All we know is that he's called THE STIG!

So he's off and here we are in a Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8! I'd rather have the X6, but that's just this man's opinion.

Down the front straight and into the Andretti hairpin... not bad actually. Surprisingly stuck on the track as it does weigh close to 4700 pounds!

Using that V-8 now into turn three and four, he's on and off the gas more than Charlie Sheen on cocaine!

Going into turn five, he's on the brakes early, but settles it in nicely!

Now into turn six, he brakes early, but stabs the corner exit, and nicks the sand just a tiny bit!

Here we go the corkscrew, and, WOW it nearly kicks out the tail!

Into turn ten, that right-hander is tight, but no problem!

Now off turn eleven, and it keeps all four wheels in line, and across the line!

So, how do you think it did? 425 horsepowers under that bonnet, and surprisingly nimble handling. It did it in...ONE... forty....one point seven!

Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera: 1:28.7
Chevrolet Corvette ZR1 DEVIL: 1:29.0
Lexus LFA: 1:29.7
Honda NSX-R: 1:34.6
Volkswagen Golf R MK6: 1:38.7
Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8: 1:41.7
Hemi Cuda 426: 1:43.5

Now let's keep in mind that with all the vehicles we've tested, that's the only one who could drive through the sand and not get stuck!

Good one, but it should of ran out of gas before it reached the line LOL

ThE BiG BrIKK wrote:

Good one, but it should of ran out of gas before it reached the line LOL

That joke would have been too easy. There are other cars in the game I should do that joke to, but just not this one yet...

Today, we will have the very last car to go around our "test track". You see, life has gotten in the way of "fun", as employment and wedding planning for siblings took up pretty much all my time the last few months. I feel happy to be back on my feet, but more than happy to wrap up Forza 3 TG.

Now the last car honor was a difficult choice to make. I've got TONS of cars, hell I could one one or two. But instead, I got a "thank you" for doing the demo, and got this: a unicorn paintjobbed for Forza 4 Mazda RX7 Spirit R. Now its been modified, and I don't know what's been done to it, so our tame racing driver is gonna put it into the sandtrap.

Some say he likes unicorns... only in acid-dripped mind-f*** dreams!
And SOME SAY he thinks Forza 4 maybe the best thing in substitution for an actual steering wheel on a chassis.
ALL WE KNOW is that he's called THE STIG!

Wheelspin off the line, but the turbo lag is excessive. Down into the Andretti Hairpin... Stiggy a little hesitant with the throttle, but nice exit. Into turns three and four, they're lively, OO A LITTLE SAND! Down into turn five, he brakes early, and gets on the gas, little tailhappy but corrects right back. Stabby into turn six, and up to the corkscrew we go! Sounds like a screamer until you gag, I mean brake it. Nice exit off and transitions into turn nine with little lift! Good job Stig! Turn ten now, scrapes the sand barely but gets off nice, but here comes turn 11, a DANGEROUS turn for all that turbo... little drama off and comes across the line!

So how did it do? Well, Stig got it on lap two to go around in one... THIRTY.... SIX POINT ONE!

Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera: 1:28.7
Chevrolet Corvette ZR1 DEVIL: 1:29.0
Lexus LFA: 1:29.7
Honda NSX-R: 1:34.6
Mazda RX7 Spirit R (F4): 1:36.1
Volkswagen Golf R MK6: 1:38.7
Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8: 1:41.7
Hemi Cuda 426: 1:43.5

And that's it, until Forza 4 when we get to do it again, same track and everything. GOOD NIGHT!